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Simple Church Questions

Read 1 Corinthians 13:4-7,11

1. From 1 Cor. 13:11 what "childish" (old coping mechanisms that maybe worked for you as a child but now hinder you from giving and receiving love) things might you want to say goodbye to?

2. Can you recall being comforted as a child after a time of emotional distress?

 Things like…

-       getting cut from the basketball team

-       a pet dying suddenly and unexpectantly

-       a parent dying or leaving

-       divorce or parents separating

-       feeling betrayed by a close friend

-       your best friend moving away and you’re left alone again

Think about something pretty serious that you went through as a child. Essentially, were your feelings allowed growing up?

3. Here’s some more questions to ask yourself, and help you identify your own family of origin’s capacity for emotional connection.

-       How did you learn to trust?

-       How did you learn to respect other people?

-       How did you learn to honour other people’s boundaries?

-       How did you learn to take turns?

-       Did you feel that your parents or caregivers really understand you?

-       If you had a temper tantrum, did they bother to ask you why? What’s going on? Why are you crying? Or was it all about the right behaviour?

- Were you allowed to be a child or were you expected to be older than your age?

- Were you expected to be a caregiver or counselor to your parent’s feelings?

Close with this exercise.

1. Appreciations

Think about something in the last week that you are appreciative for. What’s one thing you appreciate about yourself, about life, about something going on in your life?

Some of you came from families where nothing was appreciated. Where you didn’t feel appreciated.

No matter how many negative things that might be going on in your life right now, list a few things you appreciate.

So let’s create a pattern where we learn how to be grateful.

 2.    Wishes, Hopes and Dreams

Our wishes hopes and dreams are vital to who we are. How God made you. Reflect on what you want for yourself. For your relationships. For yourself.

When we begin to share these things with one another; bring our dreams out into the open, we have a greater chance of seeing them become realized. 

For example you might say…

I really hope I get an hour just by myself this afternoon.

I really hope I get some time to read that book this afternoon.

I really hope I can get married one day.

I really hope that one day I will be able to take my family on a big vacation. Back-pack the Holy Land. Sip a good coffee in a Café in Paris. Snorkel the Great Barrier Reef.

I really hope one day I could go back to school and get my masters.

Talk and pray together about these things.